PYDA Case Study: Tessa
“I guess a youth worker takes on that extra element of being someone who’s there to support you… I guess part of their job is to have undivided attention towards you and to support you. In that way, you’re like, I know that this person’s here for me right now. I can be comfortable and open up to them and I might as well make the most of that connection for that time.” - Tessa
Tessa describes the relationship she had with her youth worker Julia, and how their initial engagement evolved from a casual conversation about goals to a profound sense of connection and shared interests. Julia’s approach has supported Tessa to set boundaries in her own life. Julia is someone who is dependable, supportive, listens and encourages reflection.
“Our relationship was set around having a weekly one-on-one catch up and talking about what my goals and needs were. Julia didn’t have it super structured, at the beginning it was really nice because it started off really casual, with chit chat like, “How are you? How are you going and feeling?” As we started to get to know each other more, it became a bit more structured, which is what I needed and to think more outside the square with questions like: “Why am I here? What can I achieve? What do I need to think about doing?” and preparing myself in terms of further study or getting work and stuff like that.
Having common ground is really nice. We had quite a lot in common and I think that really helped me feel comfortable talking out some of the harder subjects, just having a connection that is light hearted. I think that’s what you need when you’re feeling a bit isolated from community. Sometimes when you’re in that state, you don’t really know how to connect because you’ve been down for a while. You actually just need to get out of your own head and find something in common with someone. Then, before you know it, you’re like, that’s not really that hard.
We’d often talk about food, plants and other things. It was really satisfying to feel like Julia actually appreciated me as a person. I really appreciated her and the value that she brought to cultivate the connection as well. Julia is a very gentle and supportive person, she’s quite grounded and calm. She’ll approach you with a soft mannerism but she’s also capable of having a laugh and being a little bit silly as well. She’s a comfortable person to have as a youth worker because she knows how to get along with people and she also knows how to assert her strengths. She’s a grounded role model who will pull you in line if you need some structure as well.
I remember she could come from a place that’s quite soft and say, “Maybe you could think about saying this or doing that a little bit differently?” But she’d always get straight to the point. I think in some situations, it’s really helpful to call it how it is and let that person know their behaviour is unacceptable, and they need to reconsider how the other person would feel. There’s so much value in that because then you know where you stand. It was always respectful. I think Julia was crucial in helping me check my boundaries with other people because quite often, I would have situations where others would overstep my boundaries. I didn’t actually know how to let them know their behaviour was unacceptable to me. Just having Julia by my side to support me and let them know, “This is not acceptable, you needed to respect her boundaries.” Then, she set me up to go and be able to do that on my own a little bit more with that person. It was quite helpful.
I guess a youth worker takes on that extra element of being someone who’s there to support you. They make time to catch up, check in and see how things are going, whereas teachers are there to educate you. It’s also different from parents, ‘cos you’re not related to them and they don’t have the same emotional ties to you as your parents would. I guess part of their job is to have undivided attention towards you and to support you. In that way, you’re like, I know that this person’s here for me right now. I can be comfortable and open up to them and I might as well make the most of that connection for that time.
I think Julia leads by example because she’s quite a positive, passionate person, who has things going on in her own life with her hiking, surfing, catching up with friends and cooking. For someone to be balanced in themselves in their own life and be feeling satisfied from what they’re doing, really comes across when they’re trying to support you in creating the same things for your life. It’s quite inspiring to hear other people’s or Julia’s stories, the places she would go in the weekend and things like that. Just having a balance of gentleness and playfulness is important, if someone is vulnerable – creating a light-hearted atmosphere for them to relax in and be okay, to be supported without being judged or pressured to open up too soon. It comes quite naturally to me to open up, but I can imagine, for some people, it might be a little bit harder and then they need a little bit more support.”
Practitioners’ Perspectives
Building Respectful Relationships
Weaving with the Two Key Outcomes
Developing the whole person
The practitioner saw the need to start in a relaxed, non-structured manner and, as the relationship developed, could encourage deeper questions and reflections. The practitioners ability to be silly and have things in common, yet still establish and maintain the professional boundary was critical to ensuring expectations were maintained and outcomes achieved. The practitioner relied on their emotional intelligence and the ability to hear what was not being said.Developing connected communities
The practitioners ability to maintain the relationship with Tessa, including post intervention, was key to breaking down Tessa’s barriers around connecting to others (friends, whānau, and community) and being able to achieve her goals outside of the organisation.
Relevance for Funders/Policy Makers
This story highlights the time it takes to build some relationships and to then create opportunities for experiences where power is neutralised yet respected. This story also highlights the importance of being able to continue the practitioner / young person relationship post intervention and the impact on the practitioner’s work load.